I’ll never forget that moment.
The room felt colder than it should have. I could hear the hum of the fluorescent lights above me, and it was like everything else—my thoughts, my breath, my heartbeat—slowed to a crawl. The doctor’s lips were moving, but the words didn’t feel real.
“Benel… it’s stage 4 cancer.”
Stage. 4.
It’s strange how just a few words can split your life in two—the life you had before and the life you’re about to fight for.
At first, I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream. I didn’t even pray. I just sat there. Numb. Like my spirit had momentarily stepped out of my body to avoid what my ears were hearing.
But deep inside, a quiet whisper broke through the fog: “You will not die here. This is not your end.”
The Weight of the Diagnosis
Let’s be real—no amount of positivity, no motivational quote, no scripture verse prepares you for that kind of news.
People think you’ll immediately “stand on faith” or “speak life,” but the truth is, the first thing that hit me was fear. Raw, suffocating fear.
What about my kids? What about my family? What about my dreams—the ones I hadn’t even touched yet? Would I ever get to see them bloom?
Then came anger. Why me?
Then came sadness. What if I don’t make it?
And then… something shifted.
Choosing to Fight
I remembered Isaiah 41:10:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
That verse wasn’t just words anymore—it became oxygen.
I realized I couldn’t control the diagnosis, but I could control how I showed up to this fight. I decided to walk out of that office, not as a victim, but as a warrior.
This wasn’t the end of my story. It was the start of a new chapter—one filled with pain, yes, but also purpose.
What Cancer Taught Me
Stage 4 cancer taught me:
- To stop waiting for “someday” and start living today.
- That strength isn’t about never falling apart—it’s about picking up the pieces and trying again.
- That faith is less about shouting in church and more about whispering “God, help me” at 2AM when you’re too tired to cry.
It also showed me how loved I am. Family, friends, strangers—they all became my army. And even on the hardest chemo days when I felt too weak to move, I felt held by something bigger than me.
For Anyone Fighting Right Now
If you’re reading this and fighting your own battle—whether it’s cancer, depression, heartbreak, or just life being unfair—I want you to know:
You’re stronger than you think.
You’re braver than you feel.
And this is NOT how your story ends.
It’s okay to feel scared. It’s okay to question. But don’t let fear have the final word. Keep showing up. Keep believing. Keep fighting.
You Are Guided
When I first heard stage 4, I thought it was a death sentence. But now, I see it as an awakening. A chance to live louder, love harder, and inspire others to never give up.
So no matter what you’re facing today, hold on to this truth:
You are loved. You are important. You are guided.
